WINSTON WEEKLY[1]

Vol. 2, No. 24

June 16, 2024

FACES OF FATHERHOOD[2]

For many, Father’s Day is a source of great joy. For others, a source of great sorrow. And for others, the lines are blurred or non-existent. As I consider the past 58 years, I appreciate my good fortune despite sorrow in the many faces of fatherhood.

During much of my childhood, we spent hours, days, and weeks with a man called “Reverend Henry” who often visited our home in Wisconsin. Despite my grandparents being raised in a segregated world, I never knew segregation, at least not in the sense that they did. Reverend Henry was a giant black man with a kind voice and an incredible heart. He exuded happiness for as long as I can remember until well into my twenties, even amid terrible moments. He often quoted a line from Charles Dickens: “Try to do unto others, as you would have them do to you, and do not be discouraged if they fail sometimes.” I did not always heed his happiness or his advice, but I appreciate his role as a face of fatherhood. He embraced me as his daughter and made my days meaningful long after he passed.

There are multiple other fatherhood faces that have shaped my life, including several colleagues. I cannot possibly recognize all of them in this newsletter, but two immediately come to mind: the late Mat Placzek and the late Jim Condry. Mat was often an adversary when I was in litigation. During an immensely personal and difficult family situation, Mat took the time to help me process and provide me with resources. He could have buried his head in the same sand many others did, but he guided me with a grace and kindness I had never experienced while his adversary. The late Jim Condry was a mediator long before mediation became “a thing.” He not only taught me the essential skills of being a good mediator but of being a good parent.

THIS WEEK’S ACTIVITY

Take time to consider the faces of fatherhood in a way that you may not have considered. Are there male figures who have influenced you in a way that no one else could? If they are still present, have you shared with them what they mean to you? Consider taking the time to write them a heartfelt letter, cook them a favorite meal, or ask them what is important to them. As Mitch Albom said in Tuesdays with Morrie, “You have to find what’s good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And, age is not a competitive issue.”

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[1] Copyright June 16, 2024. Please feel free to share with the appropriate attribute. Alysen’s views are her own.

[2] My husband and the father of our two adult children is much more than a footnote. I am immensely grateful for his many faces of fatherhood and could devote an entire newsletter to him.